Star Voyager

You are God alone

2006-06-05T13:06:00.000+08:00

You are not a god
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, thats just the way it is

You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne

You are God alone

You're the only God
Whose power none can contend
You're the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You're the only God
Who's worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And thats just the way it is

Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
Thats what You are

We

2006-02-11T12:18:00.000+08:00

Song details
Name We
Artist(s) Joy Williams
Album(s) Genesis (2005)

She's independent and beautiful
Wish I could be like her
She's got the girls and the boys
So wrapped around her finger
Rumor is she's some kind of dream
Nobody knows she cries herself to sleep

We are not that different from each other
We just want somebody to discover
Who we really are when we drop our guard
That love has gotta start with you and me
We

He's on the top of the social scene
He's stylish cool and clever
He's got a cool attitude that screams
He's got it all together

You'd think he's addicted to himself
But he wishes he could be someone else

We are not that different from each other
We just want somebody to discover
Who we really are when we drop our guard
That love has gotta start with you and me

We've gotta come togeher
Oh You know you don't ever have to be alone
You've got a hand to hold

Yeah Lalala Oh Oh Oh

We are not that different from each other
We just want somebody to discover
Who we really are when we drop our guard
That love has gotta start with you and me
We Oh Oh And We And We You and me We
We've gotta come together

The Fish Story

2006-02-11T09:52:00.000+08:00

The Fish Story

There was once a fish bowl which belonged to a fish-philic - that is, a fish lover. In it were many fishes, their numbers in terms of hundreds. It was a big fish bowl. It started off with 2 fishes - one male, one female. Then they multipied for many generations and grew in numbers. Over time, some of them were taken out and never came back.

Now, it came to pass that the fishes came to resemble 2 different sizes - fat meaty ones, and scrawny skinny ones. By logic, the skinny ones shoyld have been eliminated or removed because they served little purpose, in the sense that they were ugly to many and could not provide much nutrition if consumed. But the fish-philic loved rearing them all.

The scrawny fishes were few in number and they consumed less food. When young, all the fishes were the same. It was the food they ate that differentiated them. It was told from the elders that there was a better place outside the fish bowl - a place called the big blue ocean. To get there, the fish had to swim through a narrow pipe, and of course, not get stuck in the process.

Some scoffed at the idea and ate their fill and enjoyed the present life in the fish bowl. For those who believed, not all remembered to wait for their freedom out of the bowl. some got tired and impatient and began to follow the fat fishes, consuming their fish bowl food as they wished. Those that hung unto the hope that one day they will swim in the big blue sea grew to become the scrawny ugly fishes.

Life was tough for these fishes. They went hungry, they were shunned, but their hope kept them going. As time continued to pass, the number of fat fishes grew much larger in proportion. The stories of old were beginning to fade from their memories.

Then one day, the fish-philic scooped up a few fishes. The lucky few were 4 fat fishes and one skinny one. Of these, the separated the fat form the skinnny. As the skinny one swam around in a glass of water, he watched the fat fishes suffocate one by one as they were laid by the kitchen sink. The fish-philic prepared a pan on a flame on which he laid the fat fishes on.

Horrified at the fate of the fat fishes, the skinny fish wished that he could return to the bowl to warn the others. But he knew that it was of no use, because no oune would take heed. Then, the fish-philic lifted the glass and poured the skinny fish into a drain behind the kitchen. The fish found itself washed down long dark narrow pipes.

Finally, it saw a light and swam faster towards it. Then, as it burst into the light, it fell downwards into a great big blue body of water. The water was clean and fresh, and the beauty of the place was far beyond what the fish had imagined. The fish sighted a few old skinny fishes which had been taken out of the bowl before it. Then it knew that it was in the big blue ocean - just as the elders had said.

Beautiful Love - Afters

2006-01-07T16:58:00.000+08:00

Beautiful Love - Afters

Genre/Lang. : Adult Contemporary

Far away, I feel your beating heart
All alone, beneath the crystal stars
Staring into space, what a lonely face
I'll try to find my place with you

(chorus)
What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for awhile?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love, my beautiful love

Larger than the moon, my love for you
Worlds collide as heaven pulls us through
The secret of the world is written in the stars
I'm carrying your heart in mine

(chorus)

Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe our love will catch like fire
As it burns through me
(3x)

(chorus)

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for awhile?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful la la la la love
La la la la love
My beautiful
La la la la love
La la la la love
My beautiful love

When you call my name

2005-12-19T14:54:00.000+08:00

There's a hunger in this wilderness for Your revelation

To hear the words of life that strengthen me

Come and show what You've prepared for me

Speak your confirmation

Show me how I fit into Your plan

For when You call my name I can see again

Who You are and who I'm meant to be

And as you beckon me I am free to see

Who You are and who I'm sent to be

I am seeking true identity in the light of Your presence

I am longing to know how You see me

In the time that You have given me, release the strength to follow

And the grace to be who You say I am

car crash

2005-12-12T22:09:00.000+08:00

It's one day after camp. God's faithful hand still continues to hold me safe. Everyday is a miracle but today was a bigger miracle. It seems as though He really wants to drive back hard at me that He is here ALL the time. And I thank Him for that.

I was on the way to work in my Dad's car. We were driving along sunset way/clementi at a traffic junction. Then our lane across the junction had a really long line and my Dad stopped just in time after crossing the junction to avoid banging into the car in front. The car behind was in time too. Then came along a lorry and BANG there was a chain effect. And all 4 cars crashed. All I felt was this impact that made me thankful that my seatbelt was secured. It took me a moment before I realised what could have happened. God's hand was on me once again. He preserved everyone. Not a single person from the other vehicles were hurt. And thankfully it was the rush hr so the cars only had working ppl and no kids.

And this deliverance reminded me of a promise that God had given me. That he would preserve me till my time was up, when I had done His will. And I understood that He meant the people around me too. And it's probably no coincidence then too that the last 2 meanings of my name came to mind - protection and safety. What does God have in store for me? I know not all His plans. But I have full confidence that they are the best and that I will eagerly look forward to each new day.

running the race

2005-12-11T20:12:00.000+08:00

Throughout the month of my holiday work attachment, I greatly looked forward to the coming of YM camp 2005. I had tasted the goodness of God in the previous year’s camp and I wanted more. I was hungry for God. The fire that was set aflame then had burned for a while, wavering, and perhaps was dying out as the time passed. I didn’t want the flame to be extinguished. I was afraid of falling back even though God promised us that no one could take His children away from the refuge of His wings. And even though I knew that I would miss part of camp due to the work attachment, I signed up anyway. Two, three years back, I always had some excuse not to go for camp. But this time even with something like an excuse, I made it a point to commit to come. I had to. Nothing could keep a child away from the Father.

I was saddened when I found out that the project I was working on during the attachment required me to be back at work in the afternoon on the Saturday during camp. But I gave it up all to God, remembering that He puts us in necessary places for a reason. Whatever purpose He had, I do not know. But I know that He said ‘let the little children come to me’. And indeed, He allowed me to be present to hear His word each time. And each time His word was preached by Pastor Benjamin Chew, I could feel the overwhelming presence of God come into the auditorium where we were gathered. People were crying out to God, falling on their knees, and receiving the Lord’s Spirit, coming clean before Him. And I was just so amazed. I was amazed at the power of God, and touched by His unending love and abundant mercies. I stood in the midst of the congregation, reminded of similar times like this when God came upon His people. I remember the feeling of wishing it would last forever, and hoping that the time would never come to an end. And to my joy, I am reminded that it will be for eternity, because that was just a foretaste of heaven.

I felt renewed and refreshed. On the last night, everyone prayed for revival, for God to move through His people, through the nations, to bring change. My YSG gathered to pray as well, and even though not all of us were present at camp, we knew that God had something prepared for us in the coming year. Many of us had been empowered and received the Spirit of boldness. For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but one of love, and His perfect love casts out all fears. Even tough it was late into the night, everyone worshipped the Lord by singing and dancing unto Him. We were on fire.

Then came the last day of camp. I was a little tired and sleepy. And I had training in the afternoon. But I’ve been tired and sleepy during trainings before, so it was no big deal. But surprise, surprise, when I got there, I found out that it was a race. One of my teammates just came back from a church camp too, so we requested to do an easy run. But our coach just told us to run moderately. So there I was, stretching, feeling the tiredness of my body, wondering how 4 hours of sleep could sustain me, and knowing that by my strength, I couldn’t do it. Both physically and mentally. Because I was not prepared for it either. And my training schedule was a little messed up over the past few weeks due to the work attachment. But I pushed aside all these thoughts, and focused on the Lord. I remembered the testimonies that had been shared during camp, I remembered my own experiences when God had given me strength, and I felt confident that He would see me through this.

And so I ran. And throughout, I just focused on God. Worship songs just ran through my head. I pushed aside whatever physical things I felt. Pain, or tiredness. I just knew I had to do it because God was with me. And I wanted it to be my worship to Him. I wanted to go through it all knowing that He is my strength, so that I may emerge with a greater passion and faith to testify for Him. And I am doing that know. YM Camp just reminded me of the Lord’s goodness. And back to ‘normal life’ His goodness was still there. More than ever before, I want every single living moment to be for Him. Every thing we do should be worship unto the Lord. Because He empowers us to run and finish the race of life.

2005-11-25T09:24:00.000+08:00

Tired. Bio o yesterday then did workout. Then now back to normal work week. Somehow I still don't feel quite like it's the hols. But I'm greatly looking forward to church camp :D Haha and my small grp's going sentosa tmr.. It's gonna be lots of fun!

And I'm going for a retreat later but I forgot to bring some stuff.. bleh. Guess I'll get my bro to bring it down on his way to sch later. Piggy.. he's still sleeping...

Cockroach

2005-11-23T09:25:00.000+08:00

Haha! It's so fun to kill a cockroach and take it apart!! Hehe.. sounds evil. But oh well. Hate cockroaches. Catching it was horrible but I didn't have to do it myself. Then killing it.. I didn't feel sorry for it tho. Haha. Put lots of chlorofoam and even more after I put it on my white tile. Then Mr Suresh was like 'What are you doing?' And I said that I wanted to ensure that it was dead. Hehe beheaded mine. Then took the legs and wings apart. Then removed the guts. Now coco the cockroad rests in peace on 22 Nov 2005.. And so many of them found the cockroach/chlorofoam smelly but I couldn't smell it! Then I realised it's cuz I got used to the smell. Cuz it smells just like the labs at IBN. Maybe it's the gloves. Or just chemicals.

Ordeal

2005-11-14T10:47:00.000+08:00

I remember the times when sec school held camps for us which were meant to build our character, make us stronger, etc. Not to forget the guides' camps that required much more of us. But all these and leadership camps, not forgetting OBS, didn't really teach me as much as last thurs and fri. Yea there was always the high elements and night trails which were supposed to build courage. But knowing little fear, I actually enjoyed those, so camps were more fun than anything for me. Even going on expeditions to mountains in Malaysia where my mum and grandma worried for me, I had no qualms whatsoever.

So I found the experience on thursday and friday especially meaningful. It was actually due to my class chalet that caused me to keep going for 35 hrs without sleep. But the test was that in the 35 hrs, I had bio olympiad (4 hrs of mcq) and training in the last few hours. Before bio olympiad, I found myself thinking a lot of the tough time to come. I recalled my coach talking to me about profit and honour. I recalled my mum commenting on our training schedule. And I worried about my upcoming attachment. I wasn't sure if I could cope. But despite the busy schedule ahead, I decided to give it all up to God and take one thing at a time. And so I focused on bio o first.

Then when that hurdle was over and I went to costa sands to enjoy myself, my next big thing was training. Friday's training was 8k in the morning and 8k in the evening. Initially, I was supposed to run with my friends instead of my team since I couldn't get to macritchie so early in the morning from pasir ris. However, seeing how tired my friends were, and being unfamiliar with pasir ris, I decided to push my training later. So I ended up doing 16k in the evening.

As I made my way to macritchie, I found myself wondering how I made it through the ordeal. How I endured it all and still had much energy when I was physically drained. For someone who sleeps 8 hrs a day, I was amazed. And then I realised it all. That in the midst of everything, God's hand was at work. He kept me going, gave me strength all the time. And made me realise how I got things done all these while. Everything that had ever occured, was by his Spirit. And I felt comforted, just running along, knowing that all things where in His hands. Knowing that my life was in His hands. And whatever fears that I had of trials to come, they just vanquished. I felt no fear. I had no qualms for whatever I had to do. I only felt His love. And I felt empowered.

As I ran through the trails of macritchie, a few butterflies appeared and encircled me for a while. I felt God's love in His beautiful creation of nature. And I felt empowered. At that moment, I felt as though nothing could harm me or hurt me. I was safe in the Father's hands.

Before Bio O

2005-11-10T09:43:00.000+08:00

It's a strange moment now. Just before bio o and there's this empty period of time.. much like a refractory period. Can't do anything. It's always like that. Before races, before exams, just got to think of nothing. Well, technically not nothing. Seems that in these last moments before big things, I don't bother with details anymore. No more figuring out the little facts. Oh well except for races you busy yourself with the little things like packing ur shoes so that you distract yourself. But eventually I end up thinking of the big picture. Of the after that. And start praying that the Lord pulls me thru each big thing. But this time it's different. I got really distracted by what lies ahead of me.

I know it's my fault that I tend to get involved in so many things all at one go and I figured it's cuz I don't know my limits and I stretch myself to see how far I can go. And besides, you can't please everyone in the world. I'm not gonna think much anymore. Just take each day at a time. Living for the Lord. Not doing things by my own strength. After all, all that I am comes from Him. My prayer is that in whatever I do, may He be glorified and may I diminish that He may increase.

Life's a blessing. You go through so much without thinking and when you emerge somewhere from the tunnel and look back at the journey, you begin to realise the pleasant things along the way. And the people who travelled to you, you begin to treasure them. And when everyone starts appreciating each other for the times they were there, love begins to spread and fills the atmosphere. It is my hope that we all feel love not just when we seek it when we're down in the pits, but in the times when all things seem so smooth and happy. Nothing is just there. There's always a price.

Would you rather be good-looking or intelligent?

2005-09-28T12:16:00.000+08:00

Would you rather be good-looking or intelligent?

Intelligent, of course! That is the straightforward response we often hear. No doubt people would categorise those who choose good looks over intelligence as shallow-minded people who have a narrow view of life. I beg to differ. On the contrary, it is those who instinctively jump to the conclusion that intelligence should be more valued that are the myopic ones who do not see beyond themselves.

Sure, intelligence can get one to high-ranking positions. Intelligence can help one make more money. It can make life easier and more comfortable. Intelligence can attract people to you. (But mind you, these people veer towards you because they too, value intelligence.) Pause for a moment and consider what intelligence encompasses. It is actually a measure of how quick a person is in understanding. Thomas Edison was a ‘slow’ student. But he invented the light bulb. So was Einstein who gave us the theory of relativity. In Einstein’s own words, ‘genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration’. Clearly, it is not a simple a formula, as intelligence equals success. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon depicts the story of an autistic boy who was a math genius. Intelligent or not? Hard to decide.

And why should you choose good looks over intelligence? After all, would you really want to be like Pamela Anderson? Even with a beautiful body, she has yet to break into the a-list of actresses. And how about Paris Hilton? She looks good, but is she really good? A friend of mine recently commented that he could sense the shallow emptiness that stems from her within just by looking at a photograph of her. That really caused me to think. How can we be so quick to judge a beautiful person and conclude that her beauty stops where we see it and does not extend beyond her skin? Furthermore, we have yet to know the person.

This leads me to realise that we have in fact been moulded by society in such a manner that we are never satisfied with how we look. According to Germaine Greer, a woman ‘cannot be beautiful enough’. As a result, due to the sinful nature of man, we fall prey to one of the seven deadly sins – envy. Yes, because we are envious of the beautiful, because we wish to be like them and we think we cannot, we resort to extents so great as to devalue their worth. Hence a beautiful person is probably just a ‘dumb blonde’ or a ‘bimbo’; a person who pursues beauty just does not have a mind of his or her own because that person has subscribed to society’s notion of beauty. Is there anything wrong to aspire to be good-looking? I do not see how it could be more wrong than aspiring to be intelligent. Both are good traits after all.

In fact, beauty does have its benefits. Singapore Airlines employs flight attendants of certain calibre because these people represent the airline and the best image should be portrayed. In the ancient times, King Xerxes of the Persian Empire chose his queen, Esther, by her beauty. Looking good can also raise one’s self-confidence and make one feel better. Of course, good looks can have its drawbacks because one may not know if the surrounding people are true friends or if they are merely attracted by one’s looks. (The same goes for intelligence actually.)
Personally, I would like to be both intelligent and good-looking. However, I value character much more than any of these. Neither can bring one very far, especially in terms of moral standards, if there are no core values that a person holds on to firmly at all. But choosing between the two, I would be bold and say good looks because I believe that beauty should be celebrated. We are all created unique and should learn to appreciate what we have been given. There should be an end to the shallow criticism of those with all brawns as having no brains. Casting aside beauty would in fact not be very intelligent. Let us be more understanding.

Aoteora

2005-06-13T22:45:00.000+08:00

Kia Ora!

I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ I love NZ

Haha. Well the last 17 days have been great. Out of this world. Great scenery. Away from here. Totally free. But cold. And I was just getting used to the cold. It's super stuffy here now. Think I will really take quite a while to adjust. Specially since there's such a stark difference. Over there it's like 3 deg and here 30. Crazy madness. And at night it drops to sub zero. But here it's prob only gonna drop one deg below 30. Hot hot hot.

Really missing the nice clean fresh cool air of NZ. Haha. And south island was really amazing. That's where it snowed some days. And there was one day we travelled without ice chains but the road was really slippery. Thank God that the vehicles were all crawling or Daddy might have unknowingly gone a little too fast and I prob won't be here anymore. Mt Cook was amazing (hope to climb to the summit one day). The lakes were beautiful. Everywhere was lake and mountain and sky and it was like paradise. Like in LOTR too. Haha. We saw glowworms at Te Anau in the caves. We had to take a cruise to the caves place and it was really dark in the evening cuz the sun sets at 5.30. It was wonderful standing on the top deck literally chilling out. The wind was extremely freezing but I didn't want to go down cuz the stars were so beautiful. Then on the journey back Darren and I had this challenge to see who could last longer in the cold but we had to call it off eventually cuz Daddy kept insisting that we should come in or we'll get frostbites.

We took a cruise at Milford Sound too. Milford Sound is amazing. The journey there was thru snow covered mountains and a tunnel so when we emerged from the tunnel to the white snow it was like super bright. Haha. And Milford Sound had all the waterfalls and when our cruise ship went near one, it really seemed so huge and the water had so much power. At Queenstown we luged downhill. The advanced track was really fun!

At Wanaka there was this Puzzling World which was quite cool. A lot of illusions and stuff including the trick they used to create the hobbit effect in LOTR. And there were the faces of Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa and some US president (was it Nixon?) and the faces followed u. Like Mona Lisa's eyes. And the pool ball rolled upwards. And i defied gravity by going up hill on a chair. Of cuz it's all juz an illusion. The room was super slanted.

At Christchurch we went to the Antarctic centre and there was this antartic snow storm room which was -5 deg. i prob had like 6 layers but it was still freezing. Haha. Used the chill machine and blasted myself to -17 deg. Then when i got out of the room, the warmer railing felt soooo good. I kinda lost sensation of my hands actually. Haha. And we got a ride in the Huggland over antarctic terrain. It was super cool. Like the amusement park rides. Only this time it's a real vehicle moving over slopes inclined at 41 deg (if i remember rightly). And we drove thru this murky pond too - to prove that the vehicle is an amphibian. Haha. Spent the rest of the time in Christchurch visiting the arts centre. Oh and we went for choral evensong at the Christchurch cathedral too. It seems that half the worshippers there are visiting.

At Kaikoura we went to this beach that had pebbles instead of sand and the sound of the waves was the most beautiful thing i heard in my life! When the wave receded, the pebbles rubbed against each other, forming this really wonderful sound. And we went to this seal colony which had one lone seal scratching itself all the time. Had to hop over stones to get up close and i think we were juz in time. Cuz after that when we were leaving, we saw those stone almost covered by the sea. Then further up there was another seal colony, this time with loads of seals. And they looked like slugs. Seeing seals at the zoo is one thing. Seeing them out there in the cold nz winter is another!

Hmm.. at Dunedin we went to Cadbury Confectionary and saw this choc fall. The smell of that place is... chocolaty. Haha. Delicious cadbury chocs. At Picton, we woke up to a frozen car and Daddy had to use hot water to clear the windscreen. Then we hopped onto the ferry to Wellington. That's basically south island in general from what i recall at the moment. In quite a random order actually. But it's basically setting off from Christchurch, heading all the way south (bluff is the southern most we got) through Otago region to Invercargill, then Te Anau and the lake districts, then Mackenzie district (Mt Cook), Lake Tekapo that area, back to Christchurch then northwards to Malbourough region (Picton).

North Island had more pple and less sheep, thankfully (was getting a little tired of seeing so many sheep and nobody). A little more life. Wellington was a great city but we didn't get to stay long cuz we were headed on the thermal explorer highway. We did a crazy drive all the way up to Napier late into the night (well, not late by sg standards but considering the sky is dark at 5 plus there...). Then we got to the Lake Taupo and Rotoroa region. That's a really hot place! Haha. Literally. There's this waterfall that starts off at 98 deg and by the time it's at the bottom it's 60 deg. There was all the mud pools and air vents and of cuz the smelly sulphur smell. The mud pools were super cute when they bubbled. And there were a lot of those rushing rivers which threw water droplets everywhere so much so that it looks like steam. And this dam where we juz stood and watch the water level rise when it was opened. The volume of water is huge!

And not forgetting the zorb too! Haha. Took the hydrozorb with Darren. It was juz like a water slide. We started walking when the guy tapped the zorb 3 times
then suddenly swoosh we lost our balance and we knew we were on the way down the hill already. It was like a nice warm bath. Haha. And at agrodome they had sheep and ram bigger than those down south. They didn't look as cute as their southern counterparts. The cows have lots and lots of hair too. Haha.

Sadly, we missed the last hobbiton tour by 5 min, but no matter, since we went to many of the places that were used to filmed LOTR anyway, including the Arrow River in Arrowtown (South). But i kept forgetting the places in the book. Haha. Not such a big fan.

At Auckland we had a day trip to Devonport. We caught the first ferry i think. That's y it was still super foggy and we couldn't see a thing. When we got back, I met Gab!!!! :D She hasn't changed much. We went to BK and were gonna take pix but this some guy stopped us. Apparently some copyrite thing. Oh well. We went skycity to take photos later. We did this mirror photo thing in the toilet and we were like waiting for the ppl to disappear before taking so they wouldn't think we were weird taking photos in the toilet. Haha. Then we did silly faces using multishot on Gab's cam. It was really funny. And we were at this pink staircase taking the photos and waiting for ppl to disappear so we could take. So that we dun look weird taking in the middle of nowhere again. Haha. And we did one on the blue escalator too. Some shots turned out blurry but cuz of the nature of the neon lights, it looked quite cool. Like some cyper space thing. Anyway, it was great fun! Silly but fun and funny. And we had dinner at this turkish restaurant (which we - my family - went to again the next nite cuz the food was real good).

Sigh. Missing nz already. I'm not used to the sg weather yet. Anyone would have thot that it'll be fine. Considering I usually adapt fast, I love summer and I've been living here practically all my life. Guess i really got used to the cold there. My clothes where super cold when I opened my luggage back here!

Colour

2005-04-28T23:09:00.000+08:00

Rainbow of Icons by FreezingInTheSno
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Gunung Ayam

2005-03-28T21:31:00.000+08:00

hmm.. inspired by xing's blog to finally get down to blogging abt our gunung stong (or was it ayam) trip.. of cuz I got the link up long ago, and reasoned that a picture paints a thousand words, and since we have over 90 pictures, there are lots of words worth in that side link already (logical eh?) but summing it up in words may present a clearer picture. Plus we were all wearing the yellow bossini shirt throughout (yea stinky ppl no bathe), so it isn't very clear what happened on what day.. anyway, here goes:

Day 1:
Traumatic experience with chem test was the last memory I had of the term before rushing off to the Tahan room. I was realllllly relieved to get out of the lab and plunge into holiday mode. We did last minute packing, actually I think it was mostly the tentmen who had much packing to do. I don't recall having to strap stuff on last minute. Zhijun kept disappearing, and Li Ping went back for her passport. Somehow or other, there was a little delay, so Lenny and a few others went to buy dinner for everyone before we left school. After eating our lemon chickens, we went to the bus stop to take a bus. We all looked quite silly with the army haversacks, while the instructors looked so pro! Haha.

Anyway, I think the bus was too full or smth, and we were running out of time, so we decided to split into grps and take taxis. And the taxis didn't want to stop for us too. So we took a bus to Adam road to hail taxis. It was quite a long time before I found myself sitting in a cab, together with Dekai and Matthew. And Dekai mistook Matthew as Desmond! He mistook Desmond as Matthew before. Haha.

At the train station, we saw teeny weeny scouts and they look like back packs with limbs! Haha. So cute. Our carriage was at the far end so we walked and walked across the looong platform. It was quit stinky cuz I think it's near the engine thing. Anyway, it was a 13 hr ride so I slept most of the time. Think I slept the most. Haha. Shy Min and I got caught on film sleeping on the train.

Day 2:
Yay finally got to Dabong. We had breakfast at the station and concluded that the ppl there liked smoking alot. Terrifying experience with the toilet there also.

We met our guides (Yeo and Audi) then we set off on pickup trucks to the caves. It was quite a breezy ride. Bumpy tho.. Had to hang on to the truck. Haha. Caving was super fun. Climbing around and squeezing in narrow passages. It was a more natural experience, unlike walking through those huge caves with steps for tourists in Australia. We had to lie flat down and crawl through this small hole too! And it was quite funny cuz Liping commented that it was small then we started passing down a message to warn Oliver (cuz Liping super skinny. haha)

The caves were beautiful too, with the stalagmites and stalagtites (don't know which is which). Shiny like crystals. And Shy Min kept saying the different rocks look like elephants. Haha. It was exciting to climb around (yea like a monkey) and figure your way around in the narrow parts, and really amazing to stand in the huge chambers, where you feel so small compared to nature.

Along the way, we met other teams from Singapore too. Well, after caving, we headed back to the station where we took a walk to the jetty for a ride across the river on a sampan. When we got across, we had to wait for the bus and so we had our 'breakfast bars' lunch. When the 'bus' finally came, it was a van. So half of our team went while the rest of us waited for the next vehicle to come. Eventually a real bus came. But it was super stuffy, no aircon. I think i slept thru most of the ride there. Sleeping makes a bad journey bearable. Haha. I learnt that from last yr's train rides. Maybe tt's y I decided to sleep most of the way to Dabong, Kelantan.

Anyway, we alighted at the resort and set off from there to our base camp. When we were abt 5 min away from the base camp and we asked the guide how long more, he told us 3 more hrs. Eventually we figured out that 3 more hrs prob means 5 more mins, so when he says 3 more hrs, we're like 'on'. Haha. Anyway, the view from the base camp was quite good. It's quite ironic that base camps aren't really at the very base. But I guess it does serves it's purpose.

After setting up camp, we left for the waterfall. It was rather exhilirating walking on the big rocks as we ascended upwards. I love heights :D Anyway, throughout the treks, we met many obstacles. And we would pass down the message abt the obstacles to the ppl behind. There are standard terms, funny things like spiky balls were coined during the trip.

Hmm.. the waterfall was really refreshing, and greatly welcoming when we think of the prospect of not being able to bathe for the next few days.

When we got back to basecamp, we had to quickly washup, cook and collect water before it got dark. This was my first experience with collecting water for the team, and it was quite fun actually. This once, it seemed the watermen (and waterwoman - me :D) were the busiest cuz we were still filling bottles when it got quite dark and everyone had started eating but we were still doing our job. Dinner was mysterious. Haha. We knew it was luncheon meat with rice and teriyaki sauce. But we could not see what we were eating.

After that, it was lights out quite early.

Day 3:
We woke up and had breakfast then packed up to head on. We set off a little off-schedule though. Most of the day was spent trekking. Lunch was enjoyable. We stopped by the water source (ie river) for our 'breakfast bars' lunch (yep all lunches are the same). The scenery was nice and it felt good to be having a meal amidst nature. As you munch on your bars, you hear the water flowing, you hear the sounds of nature, and you hear your team mates' voices. What could have been better? :D

As we went higher up, we could actually feel the air changing. It was colder and smelt different. Along the way, Shy Min and I decided to start singing. We sang until we irritated Yisheng. Haha. We sang Kookabura in rounds with Liping too. :D Then at night I think we heard Yisheng singing it. Haha. The tchs guys kept singing some communist song and some song from a game or smth. Wordless one. Haha.

Anyway, the summit did not really have a view. Too many trees. We set up camp a little way off from there. Then out came the summit surprises :D Biscuits form the cooks and hot choc from the waterman and waterwoman. We were up there quite early so we could laze ard. Haha. Ended up setting up a 'gambling den' on Gunung Ayam.

And suddenly, everyone needed to clear their bowels. So it was this taking turns to head off with the shovel thing. Quite amusing. As the day got later, the temp drop. I resisted for quite a while before I couldn't take it and had to go dig out my track pants.

The nightview was spectacular. We spread out ponchos and lay down to look at the stars above. The stars were all over the place! The more we looked, the more there were. It was really amazing. Looking at stars really triggers a lot of thoughts. It brings back fond memories and it brings to mind the ideas and concepts that we often find hard to grasp. Such as infinity, et, spirituality.

Ack have to take dinner. Will continue some time hopefully

Easter Sunday

2005-03-27T18:07:00.000+08:00

Wheeeee!!!! I'm feeling good. Don't ask y. Cuz I don't know either!! But it feels good :D These past few days/weeks weren't the greatest of greatest. In fact things got quite down, esp with my mum (I've been on good terms with her for a long time actually), abt ccas, trainings and stuff.. Yea abt how I look also. Keeps telling me I'm too skinny. It gets to me. Like why can't I be just as I am? Why does it bother anyone? I'm happy looking the way I am. Well maybe if I were a fat baffalo I would think a little differently.. But I'm not even skinny to begin with. I feel perfectly normal. Maybe lanky, but the genes are half of hers anyway.

Anyway, everyday I come home and listen to the same nagging. And every morning I wake up at 6 and leave by 6.15 for sch (for morning runs which should stop once nats are over I think). So I get the same stuff coming at me abt how I have too much energy output and it doesn't balance. Can't she see I eat alot already? Obviously the older generation see fat as beauty. The epitome of beauty for my grandma would be a white and fat girl (bai bai pang pang) - so I prob look the worst among the granddaughters. Keep getting called a monkey (felt like a real monkey during the trip to gunung ayam/stong though - all the climbing, haha).

Back to the point, since I leave in such a rush everytime, cuz I try to maximise my sleep and wake up with just enough time, I didn't do my quiet time in the morning, or rushed through it if I did. And those few days I felt really really weird. It's like down all the time, and your purpose of existance seems blur. I felt numb. Like I knew what I should do, but I just couldn't do it. I knew I had to do something, I knew I had to change. I just didn't know how.

I kept thinking of the times when I really felt God. I know it was real enough and good enough because y else would I long for those moments again? I kept telling myself, reminding myself abt what they say all the time, even at ym camp, abt how there are times when the fire dies and we are just like coals. Even when the fire's gone and stuff, when we get back to normal everyday life, exposed to the world, unsheltered, will we still walk with that faith. It seemed like a test of faith. But really, what is believing? Just, yes I agree, or does something need to be done? Clearly, the passion was kinda missing. I felt a little like I lost my emotions. Felt like I turned into an automaton who goes to sch, sits through lessons, trains, come home, have dinner, sleep and then wake up and go to sch again.

Things seemed to lose their meaning. I only had good friday to look forward to. I was really glad for the break. I guess it gave me a break physically, and time to get my spirtual life back on track. I began to spend more time with God, and I realised that I had somehow shut His voice away during that time period because I had too many things going on. I was constantly on the move, always occupied, every min, every second, there was not a moment for God to speak.

This good friday weekend really gave me space and time. It gave me the moment to get my spiritual life on track. But this period of 'trial' made me realise how I can say without hesitation that I would willingly go if God decides to take me home today. Because things here don't hold so much. What am I after, ultimately? Everything else pales in comparison.

But it was not a spiritual high this time. I just got back on track to walk with the Lord closely. And because of that, my emotions seem to feel back in. The numbness seems to be slowly thawing away. And people, it seems, are the cause of this added happiness on top of the inner joy that's in me.

Seems ironic that when my bro just stepped in, my mood dipped a little. Maybe I was happily enjoying peace and quiet to think of happy thoughts when he disrupted me. Ahh.. hope I don't get too distracted later when I do my bio notes thing for tmr's test. I realised that my attention span seems to get shorter as I grow up. Ok I better give myself buffer time and start bio soon!

2005-03-07T21:27:00.000+08:00

So much for a half day. Oh well. After bio prac I rushed off for lunch but still made it in time cuz Auntie Lilian was held up by an interview. It was real nice of her give me a treat. Yummy food. Haha. She's one of the coolest aunt anyone can have :D

Since my bro wasn't around today, Patrick was much more serious. No gossip and stuff. Quite a few times, I thought he reminded me of myself. Just a younger male version. Maybe it's a Jan kid thing. I mean even though my bro and I are very alike, we're quite differing in personalities. Whereas Patrick's character is much more like mine. Maybe that's y my bro and I click. And for the same reason he clicks with Patrick too. My bro's character complements ppl like Patrick and I. Maybe that's why they're almost like brothers.

It makes me realise how impt my bro really is. He plays and stuff and can be a real big joker, but it's not really how he provides entertainment that gives him his value. It's something abt his pr. He was born with it I guess. Many times, he's the one that brings ppl together. When ppl sing 'the more we get together', I think of my bro. Because he really shows the part of 'when your friends are my friends...'

When I was young, we used to go through a lot of conflicts. Just like most normal siblings. But I guess those were experiences which shaped us. Or if I say for myself, shaped me. I've come to realise that even though there's nothing great abt my bro, I am kinda proud of him. I guess it comes from going through all these experiences. When ppl go through tough times, then they realise the things they value. And I know too full well that I will stand up for him because he is my bro. Plus he is the only teenager who can really piss me off - or rather the only one who has (other than Joanna once :P for I forgot what reason).

Another thing, I guess I talk quite a lot of my bro cuz I know he doesn't really care what ppl think abt him. Not that I do, but I generally don't go at length abt ppl. I guess it doesn't bother me how he views me. Cuz like it or not, we were born siblings and we will die siblings. I'm beginning to realise how blood is thicker than water.

2005-03-07T21:25:00.001+08:00

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

2005-03-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

You Are 40% Left Brained, 60% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.

Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.

If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.

Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.

Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.

If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.

Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Made to be

2005-03-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

Made broken to be restored.
Made weak to be strong.
Made hurt to be healed.
Made poor to be rich.

Made lost to be found.
Made desperate to be contented.
Made foolish to be wise.
Made humbled to be exalted.

Time Freeze

2005-03-04T22:35:00.000+08:00

TIME FREEZE

Right here
Right now
Looking back
It all comes rushing through
Forward
Let it pause for a while
Running, running
Trying to be still
Round and round
Around the same point
What's to say?
It came
It went
But it's no longer the same
What was it like?
Remembering the pain
Remembering the laughter
It seems alien
Was that me?
What is it like?
In stillness
Will something silly happen?
Let it not come
Yet
Breathe a while
Stop the clock
Find rest
When you are still

Sentosa

2005-02-27T20:33:00.000+08:00

It seems like sentosa's been made my second home this weekend. I think I've had enough of that island for a little while. Of course it was fun and all, but I highly doubt I'll be really enthusiastic if anyone suggests a trip to sentosa in the coming week or maybe even month.

Anyway, yesterday (class outing) was great fun cycling and dunking people and all that. I like sentosa cove! As in the road.. Nice place for cycling :D And not to mention getting pushed into the sea by Chong Guang. Today (skittles outing), Orlanda and I pulled/dragged each other in instead. So it was more 'volutary'. Haha. And there was all the jumping in from the bridge, and trying to do funny jumps. Like preparing for cheerleading according to Tiff. Then there was the gross silverfish/baby lobster things that freaked us out. And getting scraped by barnacles (that was just me).

Out of the water, we played touch rugby, frisbee and captain's ball. Touch rug was really engaging and fun. And super funny too. Cuz we split ourselves into 2 and the other side named themselves 'Havoc', so we called ourselves 'Peacock' :D :D Our cheer was 'peacock feathers'! It was really silly and amusing :P

And we had a Skittles vs Victory game of captain's ball. No one kept track of score so the last goal was winner-takes-all. And we got it! :D And since none of the girls from victory played, we had girls from skittles on the other side, and it was so funny when people made silly mistakes and threw to the wrong person, or worse still when some of them tricked people to pass them the ball.

After playing and running so much on the sand today, getting all the blisters, plus what Yonghui and Yushan said yesterday abt x cty at sentosa, I'm really thankful for turf city :D Blisters plus scratches and all the abrasions kinda sucked when sand and salt came in contact. But after everything, the cool shower was a great welcome :D :D

Yep, I had lots of fun this weekend. It should gear me up in a positive mood for tmr. Currently, I'm still in this mode of non-feelingness. Hopefully it's a good thing cuz some people are apprehensive. I'd really rather not get myself too frenzied. But forget the results,I'm actually quite excited for tmr. Can't wait to see the nygeppers again :D :D :D :D :D

It's not about me

2005-02-20T21:15:00.000+08:00

Well, yesterday was the first of the saturday sessions for Skittles that I attended. It's a pity I missed the first two due to trng. When I stepped into the room, I knew it was different from the Sunday sessions. I was glad that I made it. The smaller room had a cosier feel, and I felt more myself. During prayer and sharing, I let myself go, and allowed God's presence to take over. I held back nothing. It was the most meaningful thing that happened in the whole week. Even without saying anything, I could feel each and every person in the room being brought closer by the Holy Spirit. And as we affirmed each other in prayer, I felt empowered and revived.

I don't think words can ever describe such feelings, but I connect it back to last year's church camp experience. These are the times where you feel like staying there forever and ever. You wished time would stop. You wished you could enjoy that feeling forever. It is those moments where you have a taste of heaven, and you know it's real and you want it for eternity.

I guess when you get to times where you feel a little empty, you begin searching for these spiritual highs, and you really want it to last. It keeps a believer looking towards heaven, and never giving up faith in his saviour. And sometimes, when you really fall into the pits, when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it keeps you going. You do not fear because you know the Lord is near. It's not about you really. Nothing really matters anymore. Because you see Christ in the centre of all things.

Just today, at the 120th anniversary celebrations service, we sang a simple song that really echoed something deep within me. It goes:

In my life Lord, be glorified, be glorified.
In my life Lord, be glorified today.

It wasn't like the songs we sing in the youth service. It wasn't the kind that would move you greatly. And it was during the service in the sanctuary where things are usually quite reserved. Yet, I felt touched deep inside, and greatly moved. Just a simple song, but getting in tune with the choruses of the heavens made all the difference. It made a difference to worship God together.

PPG :P

2005-02-17T22:08:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhh!!! Last nite i dreamt of ppg! So silly... and I was blossom some more.. it's alll yan ni's fault! She and her ppg towel.. some more put blossom over her face and declare that blossom's her fav ppg.. hahahaha... can't quite get over it :P

Now if I ever feel sad before I sleep I'll think of ppg dreams and wake up laughing :P
Haha :D :D

Robert Frost

2005-02-06T20:47:00.000+08:00

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

2005-02-04T22:22:00.000+08:00

You scored as Intrapersonal. You prefer your own inner world, you like to be alone, and you are aware of your own strengths, weaknesses, and feelings. You learn best by engaging in independent study projects rather than working on group projects. People like you include entrepreneurs, philosophers and psychologists.

Intrapersonal

93%

Verbal/Linguistic

79%

Musical/Rhythmic

75%

Logical/Mathematical

68%

Bodily/Kinesthetic

64%

Visual/Spatial

61%

Interpersonal

57%

The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences
created with QuizFarm.com

Miracle

2005-02-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

A miracle happened today! Well, 2 if u consider also that I got home before anyone else in the family. But anyway, it was before dinner and my mum broke a plate. The shattered pieces flew really far out, out of the kitchen into the dining room, and out of the kitchen under the back door to the outside!

The worst of all was that they flew at her, and one fell at the corner of her eye. It must have been divine intervention, because it could very well have gone into her eye and we'd all be at the hospital now worrying and stressing out. But things didn't end up that way! Praise the Lord. Indeed He protects His people and really kept my mum from harm. :D :D :D

2005-01-29T19:26:00.000+08:00

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

2005-01-29T19:14:00.000+08:00

Your Element Is Fire

Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.
You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out.

You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable.
You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go.

Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.
Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.

What's Your Element?

2005-01-29T19:08:00.000+08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

2005-01-29T19:00:00.000+08:00

You Have A Type B+ Personality

B+

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

2005-01-29T18:30:00.000+08:00

You Are 17 Years Old

17

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/">What Age Do You Act?

A time to remember

2005-01-27T21:21:00.000+08:00

The best part of today was not the laughter in school, nor the nice feeling of an after-run, nor my choc-mint ice-cream, nor playing valse 12 by chopin. Rather, it was just a simple silent walk home from the bus stop after piano. As I stood at the traffic light waiting to cross, I watched a leaf fall to the ground (not advisable for anyone to do that - you should be watching the road). Just standing there feeling the cool breeze and my gaze following the path of the leaf as it fell, I suddenly wished to stop. To stay still and not move anymore. I just wanted to watch the whole world go by, and not lift a finger.

I guess I've been far too active these few days, or perhaps even weeks. It struck me that I needed to be silent and still - something I haven't done for a long time.

In my moment of stillness, as I cry out to God, emptying myself that He may fill me, for an inexplicable reason, tears start rolling down my cheecks. Perhaps it was to do with physical exhaustion, after a long day. Or more likely it was as Jason Ma once described. About how when you close your eyes you just cry and cry because you feel the burden of God. I wish I could share it with the whole world. But God gave us free will. There's nothing I can do to make a difference in anyone's life. I can only begin by making a difference to mine.

The Hols to date

2004-12-16T11:03:00.000+08:00

I'm at my grandma's house now... she has wireless!! So cool, right? Haha.. but it was down yesterday so I got a little bored..

Hmmm.. I haven't been updating for a long time. And i haven't done a thing abt the lj too. Heh..

Anyway, the hols' been great so far. I had a good trip at Taman Negara.. At one point, I thought of giving up whatever dreams and aspirations I had to go there and be some boat man guide.. Cruising along the river everyday could really make life interesting.. esp when u hit the rapids :D

I've still got some of the post- Taman Negara effects.. like the leech bites (which I thought would vanish like normal blood clots), sandfly bites and mosquito bites.. But I think it's still worth it :P

I had church camp last week and it was really great! God was with us and He granted us good weather.. We really got back to the basics with Him, and I could sense the wonderful things He is doing. I think, as a church, our relations with one another is also better. Praise the Lord!

After camp, I slept at my aunt's place for so long that my cousin went out and came home while I was still having my nice dream.. I hope it comes true... Haha. If it does, I'll prob blow a hole in my pocket. But who cares...

After watching the truth abt Charlie, I went back to sleep and sleep... so for the past week, I' ve only slept home once.. Cuz I came over to stay at my grandma's place 2 days ago.. My bed must really miss me :P Haha.. I'll sleep home tonight before I fly off for another 10 days or so... Poor bed.. hahaha

Break Away

2004-11-23T19:20:00.000+08:00

Well, my comp's finally fixed. I must say that it was a blessing in disguise when it was down. Not only did I have one less distraction during the 'O's, my bro had little reason to enter my room. So, it was really peaceful, except the time I refused to get out of my parent's room and made him miss the 2nd last episode of The Champion. Haha. I'm mean...

Ahh... It feels good to have free days :D I finally got to swim not 50, but 60 laps yesterday. And today I swam 70! My cousin thought I was nuts. Heehee. Besides, it's only fair that I get to swim all I want after rushing 10 laps a day during the exams. And it wasn't even everyday cuz the the first week had morning papers and I totally didn't enter the pool at all that week. Hmm. I think I sound kinda crazy. Talk abt swimfan.

And this morning was so funny, cuz my cousin and I were desperately trying to get rid of my tan line in time for grad nite. Haha. I had to find my other swim suit just to change my tan line! (Ok fine, I knew where it was but I was just lazy to get it everytime.) Now I've got multiple tan lines. Hopefully when I swim tmr, the old tan line will vanish... *poof* :P

It seems like there's less of those serious movies this hols. It either cartoons or girly shows or horror. Since I seldom watch cartoons and I'm never watching horror again, I'm left with the girly shows. And I finally got to flash my IC at the ticket lady. Haha :D Heh, but girly shows always leave u with that sort of feeling.. the girly feeling... haha. I need smth like Alexander!! Or even Phantom of the Opera. Haha. I think I've been goofing around a lot these days... need to find smth serious.

Oh well, I'm heading for Taman Negara tmr :D It's gonna be fun!!! Serious fun! :D

What lasts...

2004-10-08T21:41:00.000+08:00

It seems like without fail, we always get to thins point where things don't seem to matter anymore. Even with major exams and everything, it just seems like part and parcel of life. Why go through it all like torture when u know that u still live on after that? It may seem like the carpe diem spirit or criticised as a fail to plan, plan to fail thing, but ultimately, as mortals, isn't it the moment that matters? I've said a few times and I may say so many more times, but we have to remember that the beauty in the moments of life lies in its transient nature. The second that fluttered by won't come back again. It's gone. Forever. What do you have to lose, to enjoy yourself while you can? Even taking the tough road, pleasure can be found. In fact, I've come to learn that it's the tough times that actually teach me the most. Life is not as easy as I make it out to be. But of course why should what happens dictate how we feel? Afterall, happiness won't last. It's joy that does.

Back to Bushics

2004-10-02T07:38:00.000+08:00

As the US presidential campaign got more heated, I found myself heading towards the Kerry for President camp. Yesterday was the first round of debates on homeland security. No doubt Kerry scored a point there. Even my dad, who supports Bush, thought that Kerry was a greater speaker.

Of course, Kerry has an advantage, having never been in the office of President before. Thus he could shoot off on the mistakes Bush has made thus far, but Bush couldn’t slam him in the face. Which is why he kept clinging on to the opinion that Kerry changed his view, so to speak. I think he gets really stubborn at times like these. Kerry had to repeatedly emphasize that he found Saddam a threat BUT would have approached the situation rather differently. It made perfect sense to me. Bush, by finding a fault in where there isn’t one, has probably just taken the retrograde step in the road to re-election.

I once saw this political cartoon with Man A and Man B. Man A changed his views according to situations, while Man B was firm and never changed his mind. In normal situations, we call Man A practical and Man B stubborn. In politics, Man A is a poor wavering leader and Man B a great leader. That says a lot doesn’t it? We have to see being the so-called firm stand leaders make and recognize that tint of stubbornness out there. I’m not saying many leaders are stubborn, but this makes us think a lot, doesn’t it?

Well, round 1’s over, 2 more to go. Let’s hope the outcome will make the world a better place.

Post Prelims

2004-09-27T16:31:00.000+08:00

I've realised this long ago, but there isn't much I can really do abt it. It seems like I tend to excel brilliantly in some areas and just flop somewhere else. Which is why my msg is much worse than quite a few others. I think people like me suffer the most out of this system. Sometimes I wish I could just like take the marks off one subject and put it elsewhere.

Well, at least I've improved my ss by 3 marks. C5 or 6. Not sure. Could have been worse. But I studied! Oh well. If I can get the L1R5 I want for prelims, I won't worry abt combined humans till 'O's.

Sigh. Just finished a moving graduation speech. Haha. I can predict that my class will have so few speeches that all will be read out. It seems rather sad that we'll all go rather different ways pretty soon. It's as if time passes so fast that you've grown up all of a sudden. No point turning back time though... No point...

Dreams in the playground

2004-09-25T10:31:00.000+08:00

These few days I've been feeling rather lethargic.

Sometimes, I just get this urge to head off some place else. I remember picturing myself taking all my money and buying a one way ticket to somewhere fun and just go wherever I feel like, occasionally sending a post card home.

But life's not like that.

This 'plan' which sounds like the perfect life (at least to me), is full of flaws. It's not all about self after all. If in reality, if I really did this (perhaps it would be fun to do so one day), of course I would still head home. But it may feel sudden to family and friends and worry may set in.

Besides, if I were to take on the career that I already want, I guess I have to make sacrifices. That's why I'm grateful for family holidays. It's probably everyone's dream (more or less) to go globe-trotting. But circumstances do not let everyone fulfill that dream. I guess the most important thing for anyone to have is a dream. Without dreams, where will u head?

I feel like a little child on my way home, passing by a playground. At this moment, I can enjoy myself, discover new things. Then, when the time is up, I will head home.

Perfect day

2004-09-22T23:01:00.000+08:00

Cool. Today went through as though everything was planned out already. First off, I woke up early for a swim and I hadn't exactly planned how long I was going to take. But somehow, I got my 50 laps done and still got to BB MRT on time to meet the rest of the class for lunch and laser quest.

On our way back, Shuuy and I crammed into 188 and the people were so annoying. They refused to move in! Oh well. Can't really be helped.

And then it turned out that I was an hour early for piano, so shuuy and I got a drink and I went to borrow dvds from her :D Yay, nice Shuuy!

Then I got home at 6.30 plus and my mum told me that I was supposed to go watch New Police story at 7. So it was like gobble dinner down and head off. I barely had time to decide whether I wanted to go or not. Given time, I might have stayed home to watch one of Shuuy's dvds, cuz the movie didn't exactly appeal to me (not a Jackie Chan fan). But it turns out that I didn't regret it one bit. I think this is the best movie Jackie Chan has made so far. And Nicholas Tse looked quite good in this one. The character he played was very cute, all bubbly and stuff. And that police technician too. She's like super innocent. Haha. But something abt Daniel Wu seemed a little irritating. Must have been the smug look of his character. I guess I developed this dislike for smug looks cuz my bro has it perpetually on his face and it drives me nuts...

And as usual, my cousin voiced his reservations abt going to an all guys sch. No big deal man. Just bear with it four years and life goes on. Haha. Joanna's getting all self-conscious now. Whining about wearing shorts on the bus. I shall make her wear a mini-skirt one day ;)

Aren't we all in transit too?

2004-09-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

It's a little hard to imagine that the prelims are over. Perhaps because I slackened after history so the final 'liberation' didn't have that great an impact. At least I got a chance to catch the terminal. And had a nice pasta buffet at pete's place. Yum yum :D

Anyhow, the idea of being stuck in transit somehow seems strikes something in me. Kind of reminds me of the many times people spent waiting. Of course, it provides a kind of hope, but ultimately, if u think of it, isn't life just like a transit terminal after all? We all pass through this world, eventually to get to a final destination. At least for those who seek the things out of this world..

Oh well.

Temporary reprieve..

2004-09-18T10:46:00.000+08:00

Feels good to have the weekend here.. this has been a long awaited day. At last, the bio/lit papers friday is over!! Shao Ning and I decided to unwind ourselves by playing tennis, but the tennis court was locked. So we ended up playing badminton, and it felt so weird cuz the wind kept coming in all sorts of direction. Too bad there's no badminton court here.

Last night was the mooncake festival. Though my family didn't go traditional, the rest of the estate did. Or most I thought. There was this concert (or was it a singing competition?) and the noise was so distracting. So I ended up not studying. Even up till 11 there were kids screaming around.

Hopefully I'll get down to studying after I get home from lunch. Then it's 2 more days of papers and it'll all be over!!!! :D

Drunk

2004-09-06T21:27:00.000+08:00

This is probably the closest I ever got to getting drunk. On account that my dad is home after 9 days in Italy/Greece, my mum whipped up a delectable spread of dishes (plus my dad's newfound salad specialty from Europe), and of course, the usual wine popped up on the table. Except this was no ordinary wine. 16% alcohol if I'm not wrong, and a nice and strong taste such that it was quickly finished.

Even my bro, who usually calls me the "alcoholic", even though we only drink sips, drank much more than usual. Of course, it wasn't really any thing close to getting drunk, what with a bottle and 4 people, but my dad, bro and I got tipsy.

It was HILARIOUS. My bro was acting all silly, which by the way got my mum to excuse him from doing math so he could sleep, and my dad started acting tipsy when I asked him if he was feeling so. When Shao Ning called, I felt kind of dazed, BUT I was still coherent and could give answers to her 'math test'. Hah. I've got better tolerance than my bro :D

Except when I tried to test him and asked him what 2 times 20 was, he said 40 and I laughed. Bleurgh. Somehow 400 was ringing in my head. Oh well, all's well now. Still find it funny though.

Haha. My parents' philosophy is drink with them so we won't drink elsewhere. Smart move. I doubt we would drink outside their company.

The Ugly Chess Pieces

2004-09-06T14:54:00.000+08:00

The little girl knew it was only an illusion. Just like another summer romance, quickly forgotten. She knew it right from the start. She had known all along that it couldn't have happened. All through her little life, she had only loved the summer. She loved the warmth of the sun. She loved running across the field, screaming without a care in the world.

She knew she couldn't have loved anything else. Much less something so different as the chess pieces. The moment she saw them, she began to feel for them. She couldn't understand why. The inexplicable boggled her mind.

Finally...

Tired of a game of chess, the little girl swept the pieces away and looked out the window. Why settle for a game of chess when the sun shines brightly outside?

But as she looked out the window, she found to her dismay, that the sun was not out yet. She wept.

Clearing her tears, she saw the guitar standing in a corner. She remembered when her brother first played them to her when she could barely walk three steps yet. Her brother had left for boarding school. She wished he could teach her the guitar.

Still, she yearned to go out. It was just the beginning of the gloomy season. She knew that she had to be patient. Picking up the larger-than-life guitar, she began plucking the strings randomly...

A black sheep

2004-09-04T10:42:00.000+08:00

Last night, I went with my mum for a concert at my bro's sch. All the while, because of my bro, I didn't have that great an impression of the sch. But it turns out that the env is so nurturing and loving, and the principal so God fearing, that I begin to wonder if my bro is the black sheep of the sch. Perhaps it's soccer. Heard that the soccer players in his sch are all the same. Oh well. People will change. The black sheep will turn white one day.

What is Bush trying to do?

2004-09-04T09:22:00.000+08:00

What with all the anti-Bush campaigns and Bush trying to emerge victorious over Kerry, there still remains an unanswered question...

Is war ever justified?

Napoleon Bonaparte. Wiston Churchill. Adolf Hitler. These are names which come to mind when people speak of war. Centuries after centuries, the human race has faced countless wars. During the medieval times, wars of conquests were fought. Avarice had a grip on the kings and rulers, as they battled it out to rule the world. Living in the modern world, we follow in the footsteps of our predecessors. The two major world wars have proven that time and again, that Man has been unable to escape the clutches of war. War, need not be an armed conflict. Take for example the Cold War in the last half of the twentieth century. Hardly any military clashes occurred between the main powers on each side of the war. Yet, it was a war. The element of intense hatred and jealousy is what defines a war and what renders a war a despicable act to many who have a conscience. War-mongers have been despised for ages because of the very fact that people are still able to live by what is right.

War, no matter for land or resources, is never rightly justified. The leaders of any nation may wage war to gain glory and honour. Soldiers plunge into battlefields with the phrase “dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori” etched on their minds – it is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country. Indeed, with the concept of patriotism, many individuals have embarked on selfless journeys to sacrifice their lives for the land which they call home. These poor souls have been disillusioned. Of course, they deserve the respect for their acts of heroism, but these cannot expunge the fact that war is “old men talking and young men fighting”. These are men of potential, men who have yet to see their dreams take a physical form. Their lives have been robbed all in the name of war.

War aims to achieve peace and freedom. Living in oppression, and under the rule of foreigners, blood brothers of the land will massacre their way out to gain what is rightfully theirs. Some peoples, for altruistic reasons, wage war against another peoples, to free the oppressed. They do it all in the name of good, in the name of showing compassion for fellow brothers of Adam’s family. Sounds like a justified cause. Yet, people fail to realise that true compassion lies in loving the enemy.

Hate, as a result of jealousy, is the essence of war. It is the sole cause that leads to war. Deriding another country and claiming to be superior is an apotheosis of self. Envying another, and stooping to aggressive means to match up or supercede others, is not what we were called for. Indeed, if we trace our roots, we are all brothers of an extended family. Hatred cannot exist among brothers, because the same blood runs through our veins. This is the blood of humanity, the blood of love, the blood that binds. War, no matter for what reasons, can never be justified. Brothers were made to love, not hate and hurt one another.

Yet, a world without war, can only be a chimera. We can dream of the ideal world, but our dream will never come to fruition. Man, as early on, from the first brothers of the world, Cain and Abel, have shown that jealousy too, runs in our blood. Only those of strong mettle can curb the tendencies of the flesh and pull themselves away from the path of war. Even though war can never be justified by the ideals it tries to embody, it is a reality of life that we have to face. It is thus, our duty as citizens of the world in this era of peace to wage “war” against war. If war can ever be justified, the United Nations will cease to exist and Switzerland will no longer remain neutral.